34 weeks pregnant

               
                        My 34th week also marks the last week in work for me as per my last post.

A lot of people have of course shared their very much appreciated opinion that I have finished work very early and I will wish that I would have finished a bit later just so I can get more time with the baby when he's here. Well, yes, I would have loved to work until a week before the baby is due and have a decent salary until probably August as opposite to getting only 90% of my not so great salary at the end of June just in time for the baby's arrival. I would have loved to have 5 weeks extra with my baby next year rather than sit at home now and watch Jeremy Kyle all day and obsessively clean the house/arrange baby clothes/re-arrange baby clothes/ count nappies/worry about the house/worry about the how we are going to raise a child on one and a half wage with a mortgage,new car,other crap/ worry in general just to fill up my 6 weeks which I could have spent with my child. But try and explain this to my horrendously painful back and vagina area. Also to my feet that look like they've been pumped up by 10am,to my legs that refuse to function if I sit down for more than 20 minutes,fatigue and dizziness I get every day around lunchtime to name a few.

This week hasn't been great for me as i am getting heavier and I am happy I have finished so early not just for me but for the baby as I feel I have been putting a lot of strain on him by not resting when I need to and forcing myself to do stuff like cooking every night after work,a bit of cleaning here and there,not getting up from the desk every 20 minutes and all this. I also feel like I've been a useless girlfriend for the same reason as All I do is moan with pain,sit down like a vegetable and just be miserable. Long gone are the days when I used to cook from scratch nice dinners and cuddle on the sofa or go for a walk. Now is more like a quick pasta with a ready made sauce and quick return to the sofa where I practically rot until is shower and bed time.Not exactly romantic ( especially when you have hairy legs and other bits so basically not much going for you as a woman)!

Baby's movements are getting very painful as well as he seems to get some limbs stuck in my ribs all the time and this week I managed to get him filmed as well.Freaky shit that! It still amazes and freaks me out but is also an amazing feeling.

I am seeing the midwife on Tuesday for my 34 week,can't wait to see who is replacing Fat Julie this week. Long story short,my midwife ( lady called Julie who was too fat to get off her chair so she was always accompanied by someone who did all the moving for her) went off sick after my 16 week appointment so I saw a different one at each appointment which is very annoying as I had to explain to each one of them my back pains and my SPD which I also diagnosed myself with.This is also one of the reasons why I finished work early,my midwife didn't refer me to a physiotherapist until 2 weeks ago when It was bit too late for them to do anything with my crushed pelvic bone and 'wonky spine' and basically I kind of self certified myself and decided to finish work and rest my back.

On a more positive note though, I am not in so much pain anymore,maybe cuz my body is now immune to pain after suffering for so long and I am finally looking forward to baby's arrival so I am in a happy mood.The baby shower is on 1st June and after that only 3 weeks left if the baby is a good boy and comes on time.

Tomorrow I will start doing the hospital bags because I am a control freak and like to be organised,especially after having this weird dreams that I'm going into labour and I'm not ready for it!!! It was awful because in my dreams I was upset about the fact that I haven't been organised not because my baby was born premature! I really hope this nesting crap goes away once I give birth,I can't start obsessively tidying and cleaning and organising with a newborn baby like i do now.

I am very happy that I have no stretch marks to show for this pregnancy and will credit Bio Oil and Palmers Cocoa Butter for it. I however seems to have gained quite a lot of cellulite :( as I haven't been able to do any exercise since January because of this back and groin pains. I am planning to go for the longest walks with the baby and the stepdog so I'm not worried about that.

Someone said to me today to stop questioning why I'm tired or hungry or hot and just deal with it so I had a nap yesterday and today and still went to bed at my usual time. I think my body knows that I finished work and is now catching up on sleep.Sleep is lovely!

P.S. sorry for the blurry photo. I haven't got a clue why is like that as is perfectly clear on my phone.